Life Update for Personal Organization

Kindercare. First day. It was so much fun! I was working with the threes today. They’re a lot of fun because they can speak pretty well and they understand just about everything. Not to mention they’re funny. They genuinely make me laugh. Kids are great. But then when they can’t do something and start pitching a fit they kind of suck. But mostly they’re great.

My jobs are pretty good all and all. I mean I’m a waitress at a mom and pop restaurant that does good business and I make excellent tips due pretty much only to the regulars. God I love regulars. And then I work at a day care center three days a week with little tots who are just a joy to be around pretty much no matter what. I mean shit. I have it made. I just fucking miss my boyfriend a lot. And when I get home, I’m pretty bored.

So here’s my dilema. I got friends. I’m not twenty-one but generally speaking I can go out and drink with my friends if I want to (there are ways around shit, don’t ask). I have two good jobs that are well paying. I have an excellent living space waiting for me in Fredvegas, where I know and like people, and it’s only an hour away from either NOVA or RVA where my best friends in the world live. I’m getting my shit together. I’ve saved some money. I mean, my life is pretty damn good right now.

…but I’m still bored. And I still miss my bf.

I’ve rationalized that it’s that in-between feeling. Like It’s after my fuck up, it’s after me having a job, and it’s after me decided not to go back to school. All of those things are nice. I can breathe a hearty sigh of relief. However, it’s before my baby comes home. It’s before I have to move again. And before I know I’m gonna have a job once I do move. So those are my stressors I guess. Shit, ya know, at least I know what they are.

I have a couple coloring books. And a couple actual books, that keep my attention. I have a game I like to play. I have a blog, obviously. I have movies. I literally can’t think of any other ways to spend my off time. I mean it’s depressing. I guess it’s because I feel like I’m living in limbo right now. I’m living in the in-between. It’s really kind of shitty. Even though my life’s pretty good.

What I think I need to work on the most though is enjoying living in the moment. I used to be really good at that. But lately, well, I’m not. I need to live daily. Not weekly, or monthly. Daily. What do I do today? The only thing is I can’t all the time, or I forget about important shit. And that won’t do. Like I CAN’T have that. Not right now. Not when I need to make money. It’s imperative that I make money, otherwise I can’t pay the rent.

When I move. that’ll be good. Babe’ll be home. I’ll have one job at least. I’ll be living on my own. I swear to God, I’ll be at the library everyday. I’m gonna just suck up knowledge with a damn straw. Everything I’m interested in. Everything I’d like to know. I could do that now. Except I don’t really have a space to myself. I don’t really get left alone. So it’s harder…I guess. Mom’s always talking. Always moving around. Sometimes I just want it to be silent here. Just silent, and a comfortable temperature. Anyway, I’ll also be able to work out with my team. That will be such a blessing. My God.

For now though….I need to get a day-planner. Bad.